The problem isn’t hard work or desire

What should I do with all my itchy ambition?

In my last essay I told you I'm drawn to personal growth. I also told you that we are going to talk more about what it means that God created and purposed us to rule and reign with Him. We're on our way there in future essays.

But the question for today: Is it selfish and self-concerned to want things, to have ambitions, to have goals and dreams? Is it godless to try to shape and direct my life?

I've learned that the answer is tricky and nuanced. The problem is that I'm so good at justifying all kinds of things. I'm good at justifying the things I want. I'm also good at justifying my fears, my laziness, my pride.

I don't want my instincts and feelings to have the final say. I want to know what God has to say.

We can know there is good in hard work, the pursuit of excellence, a growth mindset, and intentionally moving toward a future that is different from our present because God's Word encourages us to do these things.

Any good gift from God can become problematic when we value the gift over the Giver. But our sinful ability to abuse good gifts doesn't mean the gifts are bad. It means we need to handle good things with wisdom, nuance, and clarity as we look to the Lord to help us navigate our hearts and our desires.

Hard work and the pursuit of excellence

In Proverbs we read,

The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. - Proverbs 13:4

This verse isn't saying anything you haven't heard before. You've likely heard a version of this from your grandma and "hustle culture." It's saying that sitting in our cravings isn't a good thing.

But notice the solution isn't to just stop craving. Biblical wisdom says you should work hard to achieve the things you want.

There's a whole host of reasons why the diligence of your grandparents is healthy and admirable, while "hustle culture" has proven to be "toxic." But the problem isn't hard work or desire.

If we jump over to 2 Corinthians 8:7, we see that Paul assumes the early church is seeking to "excel in everything" and encourages them to keep doing so. In 1 Corinthians 15:10, Paul says that the grace of God motivates him to work harder than anyone else.

It's good for us to acknowledge what we want and work hard for it. It's also good for us to seek to excel, to be our best selves. And we should want to grow and change.

Growth mindset and change

I once heard Jen Wilkin say something along these lines:

We are not like God in that we are not unchangeable. And it's with the unchangeable God that change in a positive, good, beautiful, godly direction is most possible for us.

Change is about wanting a future that is different from our present reality. The truth is, we will change one way or another. Another truth is that God has given us agency and the ability to shape and steer our lives.

Having agency isn't just a nice and empowering thought. Our choices matter. A Christian understanding of reality is that we should carefully consider what we do with our bodies, tongues, minds, and lives because there's a lot at stake, and the choices of Adam and Eve in Genesis 3 prove it. Our lives can be a blessing or a curse. It's a terrible and devastating lie to believe that we don't matter.

Resolve and dependence

Because our lives matter so much, we should have some serious resolve. We should know where we want to go and intentionally move toward it.

We often hesitate to own the importance of our agency because we know the truth: we are not God.

But we should live in the tension that our lives carry weight and seriousness, and yet, God is greater. Both are true.

Throughout God's Word, we see a coupling of agency and dependence. The Bible sees them as complementary, so it would be a mistake for us to see them as at odds with one another.

Reality and the movement of the universe are deeply impacted by us. If we go back to Genesis 3, it's hard to overestimate the impact of Adam and Eve's sin, and yet God is, through Christ, working all things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes (Romans 8:28).

We're called to live in light of these two equally important truths: we have weighty agency, and we are dependent on God.

For example, 2 Peter 1:3 says that God has given us divine power and everything we need for life and godliness (dependence). In verse 5, we are then encouraged to "make every effort" (resolve) to change and grow toward good things.

In Psalm 119, the psalmist sits in the tension of resolve and dependence. I feel verse 8 in my bones.

I will keep your statutes;
do not utterly forsake me!

He's saying, "With everything in me I'm determined to do this." But notice that his resolve doesn't lead to self-reliance. It leads to the opposite: an acknowledgment of how dependent he is on God's help.

For context, the psalmist spends the first few verses of Psalm 119 admiring the "blameless." He is full of awe and admiration as he considers holiness and righteousness. You could say he hungers and thirsts after it. After a few verses of expressed longing, he asks the obvious next question. "How can I be like this?" (paraphrase of verse 9).

He wants this so badly that we see the white-hot flash of determined resolve and dependence bubble up again in verse 10.

With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!

Reclaiming what was lost

So what should I do with all my itchy ambition? I don't think we've fully answered that question yet, so stick around for future essays if you still want to explore it with me.

What we uncovered today is that it's sinful and foolish to pursue personal growth and self-actualization in a godless way. There is no such thing as a "self-made" man or woman.

But it's also sinful not to use our God-given power and agency. It's good and right to get clear about what we want, and then leverage all we have to grow and change. God put us in a world where it's good to work hard in pursuit of our desires, and his Word encourages us to do so.

I think even godless attempts at personal growth and self-actualization carry some good in them and are often humanity reaching to reclaim the truth that we are meant to rule and reign with God. We'll dive more into that in the next essay.