How I’m Trying to Be Less Distracted And More Present
It feels like my first kid was just born. He turned nine just a few months ago. Nine!
That means I’m already halfway through my time with him at home.
I feel desperate to hold on to the memories and experiences of my life. Many beautiful things are happening in my life every single day. And yet, my life feels like sand running through my fingers.
There is nothing I can do about the passing of time.
I just desperately want to be more present with the time I have.
Time Isn’t The Only Problem
Part of my problem is that I give much of my attention to many pointless things.
Attention is one of our most valuable resources, yet we throw it away easily on things that aren’t worth it.
What we pay attention to matters. It shapes us and sticks with us.
Our attention is limited. We can only pay attention to one thing at a time. When I give my attention to one thing, it means I’m choosing to not give my attention to hundreds of other things at that moment.
I haven’t been good at using the time I have to pay attention to my life. I already regret my lack of attention. I’m certain the weight of sadness will only grow as I get older if I continue to neglect the beautiful things happening all around me. I really don’t want to miss it.
“If you want to change your life, change what you pay attention to.”
What Does Social Media Have To Do With Any Of This?
I know that there are many things wrong with social media. I feel them, and one of my goals this year is to be on social media about 75% less than I was last year.
But I think social media has offered me a skill set worth developing. The blessing of our social media age and all this fancy technology in my pocket is that I have grown accustomed to taking photos and videos of my life.
I have thoughts about sharing my life online, but that’s for another post. I get why lots of folks are turned off by the idea.
Whether or not there is value in sharing our lives online, I think we can all agree that there is tremendous value in documenting our lives.
Documenting Is Attention
Over the last few years, I’ve picked up the hobbies of photography and videography. Along the way, I’ve said to my wife many times, “this brings me joy because documenting our lives like this makes me feel more present.”
“Documenting IS giving something my attention”
When I’m trying to capture something going on in my life (a birthday party, a walk with my family, etc.), there is a need to pay attention. Documenting that moment actually helps me fight against distraction and be more in the moment.
Some say that being behind a camera keeps you from living the moment. They might say, “you’re so busy capturing it that you aren’t living it!” All I can say is that I’ve rarely experienced this to be true. Capturing the moment helps me be in the moment.
The Point Is
But everyone is different, and that’s okay. The point of this post is to encourage you to get in the habit of documenting your life in some way (or several ways).
Another Way To Document
Journaling is another great way to document your life.
Journaling is more than a middle school girl scribbling down all her secrets. That’s how I thought of journaling for a long time. I also thought that journaling meant taking an hour a day to write down every detail of your life.
Journaling can be these things, but it doesn’t have to be.
I’m still developing my own journaling practice. For now, my journaling process is taking five minutes to write something down I want to remember about each of my kids. I use an app and have a separate journal for each of my family members.
Instead of using my downtime (in line at the grocery store, waiting for a friend at the coffee shop, etc.) to scroll through social media, I try to take that time to think about what’s going on in my life that I would like to jot down and remember.
Instead of endlessly scrolling through other people’s lives on social media, why wouldn’t I take a few minutes to write a few sentences about my own?
Documenting my life is valuable for me today because, as I’ve said, it helps me to be more present in my life. But the value of my documentation grows as time goes by. These photos, videos, and written memories will be deeply meaningful in thirty years.
The Value of Hard Days
I’m also trying to get better at not just documenting the good stuff. The value in documenting the hard days is that it makes me more aware of the patterns and rhythms of my life.
For example, I’m in the middle of some struggles with a friend. I’ve been transitioning some of my old notes and journals into a new platform. I came across some entries from several years ago where I documented a past struggle with a different friend I had forgotten about.
It was helpful and comforting to remember how I felt and how the situation played out. Each struggle feels like an isolated event, but as I read through my past, I started to see patterns in myself that I didn’t like. Reading through my past struggles has helped me process the things I’m currently up against.
When I document the hard days, I start to see meaning in the days that felt meaningless. And purpose in the days that were scary, painful, and difficult to get through.
What A Time To Be Alive
I’m thankful to live in a time when documenting my life is easy.
I know all the technology we have plays a big part in distracting us from our lives. But it can also be used to help us pay more attention to our lives.
A Final Tip
My last encouragement comes in the form of a tip.
If you like being creative, take time to create something with the things you document and capture. Make a video, a monthly photo book, write a song, or make a piece of artwork featuring all the cute things your kids say as they’re learning to speak. It could be anything.
Creating in this way helps us avoid mindlessly capturing our lives and encourages us to process and enjoy our lives and the moments we’ve lived.
Again, I think social media has helped many of us get into this habit of capturing and creating. Whether or not you publicly share is up to you. But you don’t need to share it. There is value in you making something for yourself.
Documenting and creating are worth your time and attention. I doubt you’ll regret it.
Do You Journal?
Since my journaling practice is in perpetual development, I’d like to know if you journal? If so, what tools do you use (paper, digital, etc.), and what is your process (time of day, do you use prompts or questions, etc.)? I’ll update you in future posts as I continue to develop my journaling.
